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This Father’s Day, we’re done with the man cave. It’s 2015, people! Dads have evolved. While most of the media are pigeonholing dads as remote-control-controlling freaks who want nothing more than to hide away in the darkest spaces of their homes, we’re paying tribute to real dads. Or, at least, to all the other dad stereotypes out there. They’re a diverse bunch, and for each dad, whether hipster or handy, we’ve selected an ideal home from our millions of listings. Here they are:
Alternadad: With their skinny jeans, charming facial hair, and toddlers in obscure band T-shirts, alternadads are too cool for white picket fences and traditional Colonials. In Austin, TX—home of “Alternadad” author Neal Pollack!—we found this three-bedroom, 2.5-bath condo that’s just minutes to downtown bars and restaurants. The third floor even has an open space perfect for alternadad’s morning vinyasas, and there’s no homeowners association—because alternadads can’t be bound by rules.
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Overprotective dad: This five-bedroom Spanish-style home in Los Angeles’ Sunset Strip neighborhood is perfect for the dad who thinks no one is good enough for his daughters. With security galore, the house does dad’s tough intimidation work for him. (Oh, wow, flashback to my teenage years!) For those few who do meet with dad’s approval, this compound has guest quarters and, get this, a turret. Perfect for a teenage Rapunzel.
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Grill master dad: This dad has never found a protein he couldn’t char. And at thisthree-bedroom, four-bathroom home in Washington’s San Juan Island, he can grill to his heart’s content in the Viking outdoor kitchen. One warning: Those sizzling steaks will have to compete for guests’ attention with the insane views of the San Juan Valley and Turtleback Mountain.
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Stay-at-home dad: This is the age of the SAHD. Forget simply changing diapers—he’s the one the baby calls out for in the middle of the night. This 1,000-square-foot duplex condo in Park Slope—the pre-eminent parenting neighborhood of Brooklyn—has a cute little nursery that’s ready for rocking a baby back to sleep. Plus, there’s a private outdoor garden, which is absolutely necessary for growing organic veggies to feed the family.
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Handy dad: There’s nothing that handy dad can’t handle, from installing drywall to rewiring the attic. In Baltimore, this four-bedroom bungalow is just waiting to be transformed from an oldie into a goodie. There are four buildings on the property, and with direct access to the Back River, you’ll be swimming and water-skiing at dad’s place in no time.
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Dandy dad: No tiny closet and demure decor for dandy dad—he’s got style and he’s not afraid to express it. On Chicago’s South Side, this six-bedroom, 4.5-bath Jackson Park Highlands home—with a steam shower, man cave home theater, and chef’s kitchen—just might meet his standards.
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Foodie dad: Viking. Wolf. Miele. Thermador. These are the brand names that stir foodie dad’s heart, and this four-bedroom, four-bath Philly townhouse has them and more (e.g., granite countertops, custom cabinetry, and tons of entertaining space). And since foodie dad needs to take care of himself, the lower-level full gym is the icing on this cake.
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Sporty dad: He may not have a championship ring or a major endorsement deal, but the dad who cares about sports above all can acquire the ultimate trophy: Michael Jordan’s Highland Park home. Nine bedrooms, 15 full bathrooms, 32,683 square feet, nearly $15 million. Only ballers need apply.
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